|
Newsletter Archive Available
Access past issues of The School Mediator
through the link below.
The School Mediator Archive
The
School Mediator's Field Guide:
Prejudice, Sexual Harassment,
Large Groups and Other Daily Challenges
by
Richard Cohen
more
info |
|
Students
Resolving Conflict:
Peer Mediation in Schools
by
Richard Cohen
more
info |
|
|
| |
Welcome to the December issue of The School
Mediator.
This month's issue features the words of a high
school senior who writes that peer mediation changed
her life. Please send along your
thoughts; we love hearing from you.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season,
Richard Cohen
Founder and Director
School Mediation Associates
PS: If you received this free newsletter directly from us,
you
are
already on our subscriber list. If a colleague forwarded
it
to you, you can easily subscribe by sending your email
address to
sma@schoolmediation.com.
To unsubscribe, just
send us an email.
|
| |
| |
| |
| "Peer Mediation Helped Me Turn My Life Around"
|
| |
I recently received a copy of Meghan Lennon's
college
essay, in which she describes how peer mediation
changed her life. It was sent to me by Randi
Orpen,
peer mediation coordinator/Spanish teacher at
Woburn
High School in Massachusetts. Meghan is one of
Randi's
student mediators.
Of course, we all hope that peer mediation has a
profound and lasting impact upon our students.
But having lived through the early days of peer
mediation, when everything from a decrease in
suspension rates to smoother skin was attributed
to the
program, I hesitate to credit peer mediation with
any
benefit beyond effectively resolving
interpersonal conflicts.
As you can read below, Meghan was at a turning
point in her life when she found peer mediation.
Thankfully, the program was a catalyst for an
important
transformation. But if she had instead joined
the band, or devoted herself to field hockey, or
began
working at a day care center, would she have
written
her essay about how the saxophone helped
her
"turn my
life around?"
It's possible. But there is no doubt that young
people
learn unique and vital lessons from peer
mediation. I use
the expression "no doubt" advisedly: according
to a
meta analysis of 43 separate studies of the
impact of
peer mediation (published in the Fall 2003 issue
of
Conflict Resolution Quarterly*) we now have
quantitative proof of the
positive impact peer mediation has upon students
and
their schools.
Among other benefits, the research clearly
indicates that
students demonstrate a "substantial increase in
academic performance," as well as "improved
self-esteem," after becoming a mediator.
This confirms the qualitative, anecdotal
evidence--like Meghan's essay--that we have had
for
two decades.
In the margin of Meghan's essay, Randi scribbled
a note:
Meghan was a "party" at the mediation table at
least
three times before becoming a mediator. At every
intake, I experienced her as hostile and even
arrogant--she wanted no part of mediation!
She has since done a complete turn-around. Her
mother
even came up to me on Parent's Night to thank the
program for the "change" in Meghan.
Testimonials like this make it all worthwhile.
Amen to that. Read for yourself.
A Life Changing Experience, by Meghan
Lennon
Throughout the past three years at Woburn High
School,
I feel I have had many life changing events come
about.
I've had good things happen along with some bad
things.
I have met people who have helped me, and lost
people
close to me. Anything you can think of, from
tragic to
inspiring, I have been through. It has all
played a huge
part in the way I view things today.
One experience in particular had a huge impact on
me; it
was being accepted as a peer mediator.
Starting high school as a freshman, I was trying
to find
where I fit in, just like everyone else. I ended
up with
those kids that every parent hates. I got into
trouble,
both in and out of school. My schoolwork and my
effort
level both slowly dropped. Each year seemed to
be more
intense, till my junior year began.
Over the intercom, it was announced that the
mediation
program was looking for some new mediators. It
sounded
interesting, but why would I get chosen? Besides,
after
being through mediation a couple of times, I
really did
not think it was the thing for me.
Eventually I decided to give it a shot. I
thought of all
the times I had let my mom and dad down, and
decided
that this would be an awesome way to prove to
them
that I could accomplish something really
scholarly. I
went for an interview and it went well, although
I still did
not think that anyone would be interested in what
I had
to offer.
I did end up being chosen. It was an awesome
feeling.
My parents were proud, and so was I.
After being accepted, the other new mediators and
I
went through three days of intense training. We
role-played, played games, and talked a lot about
our
views on many subjects. As a group, we were
really
diverse; yet, there were a lot of familiar faces.
There was no one [in the training] that I had
spoken to
before, but I did have opinions about certain
people. I
am sure they were all wondering why someone like
me
was chosen, being such a "troublemaker" and all.
I got to know a lot of people, and I also learned
that you
"can't judge a book by its cover." Learning to
accept
people for who they are was only the beginning.
Becoming a mediator has totally helped me change
my
outlook on everything.
When I mediate, I look across the table and see
myself
sitting there. That makes me really thankful
that I was
given this opportunity, because I have the chance
to
help people like myself. I feel I have a lot to
offer from
all my past experiences, and that my knowledge
has
helped me greatly.
Becoming a peer mediator definitely was not the
answer
to all of my problems, but it did open doors for
me.
Mostly everything has improved: my schoolwork,
behavior, personality, even my everyday life.
I don't regret my past decisions. I feel they
have only
helped me make better ones. Upon reflection,
this
program is what helped me better myself, and what
helped me turn my life around.
(NOTE: Meghan's essay was published with her
permission. We thank her and wish her luck.)
Please send your thoughts...
*Receiving Conflict Resolution Quarterly
is one
benefit of
membership in the Association for Conflict
Resolution.
Follow the link below to find out more about ACR.
The Association for Conflict Resolution |
| |
| Response to "Mediating Spirit"
|
| | We received many responses to
last month's issue of The School Mediator about mediation and
spirituality. I have posted a number of them below:
When tenderness is allowed in the
mediation process, understanding is reached. All the
walls come crumbling down. Tenderness is allowed
through careful and thoughtful questions, welcome
silences, and the basic principles which are threaded
throughout transformative mediating.
When this happens, it is so significantly spiritual to me.
Another force is present when we allow ourselves to be
still and open to the process. I couldn't agree with you
more.
Connie Mahoney
Mediation Coordinator
Kiley Middle School
Springfield, MA USA
This is very exciting and right on target. I'm so glad you
wrote about this and hope you get a good response. I
think this is the direction mediation, and all peace-work
for that matter, needs to take.
Naomi Drew
LearningPeace.com
New Jersey, USA
Win47win@aol.com
Thank you for your newsletter. I will be glad to receive
it in
the future. My job here in conflict management involves
many areas of conflict and I would be interested to
maintain communication on mediation issues.
I have just come back from a workshop in Istanbul on
Greek-Turkish relations, and the terrible bombings
occurred while we were there.
I feel the only security is to fight back with peaceful and
spiritual ways, and to keep our hope that education can
make a difference.
Niki Roubani
Germany
Thanks for your most recent newsletter concerning
mediation and spirituality. It is a topic both large and
dear, so I'm happy that you took the time to share your
thoughts about it.
Reading your reflections on the desire that we all have to
live in peace, and the role that meeting basic needs has
in that, brings to mind Marshall Rosenberg's work.
Rosenberg, a long-time mediator and communication
teacher, believes that most any conflict can be resolved
relatively quickly after people have been able to clearly
articulate and hear each others' needs.
Our mediation staff has begun a weekly practice group in
Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication. The first week
led us to a rich discussion of "giving from the heart."
Today I spent a half hour on the phone with an excited
school principal. He had just empowered a third grader,
who had complained about the school's lunchroom
seating policy, to begin a process to change that policy.
By encouraging leadership and supporting this child's
passion and sense of social justice, the principal is
honoring spirit.
Non-violent, compassionate communication is a way of
life. The practice of mediation is one of its tools.
I am grateful to be in a involved in work that is one with
my spiritual practice.
Cheryl Fox
Training Coordinator
The Mediation & Training Collaborative
Greenfield, MA USA
cfox@fcac.net
I want to inform you that in June this year, our
organization introduced peer mediation into six school in
one of the most violent areas of Sierra Leone. The
schools and administration are so open and welcoming,
and they have found this very relevant as part of school
peace-building culture.
I am responsible to follow with them until they are well
established. I also have some 14 secondary schools in
that district waiting for the introduction of peer
mediation, and I am responsible for seeking funding for
them.
Emma Kamara
Sierra Leone
I just finished printing the November issue of The
School Mediator to share with my mediation class.
As it came off the printer, and I began to read it, I
couldn't believe my eyes! I started teaching mediation
20 years ago: to students here at Salem State, and to
police and business people. Now I feel I have finally
found some peers.
Last year I discovered the book "The Promise of
Mediation" by Bush and Folger. I now use it in my class.
It is the only book that I have found that discusses the
transformative nature of mediation.
In addition, as a part of my class, I teach students Dr.
Benson/Kabat-Zinn mindful meditative listening. They
always receive it very well.
Ed LeClair
Professor
Salem State College
Salem, MA USA
edleclair@comcast.net
I'm a 52 years old graduate student in Family Studies in
the Applied Conflict Management Department at Kent
State and that is how I connected with your work.
Your thoughtful and self-revealing article about mediation
as a spiritual practice adds to my growing excitement
that a major paradigm shift is about to occur, one in
which the majority of humans on the planet will see
themselves and others as inherently good and seeking
peace.
A. Margaret Pevec
Graduate Student in Family Studies
Kent State University, Ohio USA
|
| |
| About SMA
|
| | For almost twenty years, School Mediation Associates
has been devoted to the application and promotion of
mediation in schools. SMA's mission is to transform
schools into safer, more caring, and more effective
institutions. Our books and training programs have been utilized by tens
of thousands of people around the world.
Call us: 617-926-0994
Email us:
sma@schoolmediation.com
Web us:
www.schoolmediation.com
Post us: 134w Standish Road,
Watertown,
MA 02472 USA
Copyright © 2003 School Mediation Associates. All rights
reserved.
|
| |
|
